Beautifully Broken

Hello!

I had originally written a blog about a week ago to post about all that I had learned, but I accidentally deleted it haha! From that, I feel like the Lord had other plans for what He wanted me to share so here I am starting from the beginning. There is SO much that I have learned about myself and God over the past two months. I am continually humbled by all the amazing things God still has to teach me, and all the new ways that I have the opportunity for growth.

I am recognizing more and more that the things that were once the most uncomfortable are the places where I now find the most comfort. I have been given opportunity after opportunity to go outside of my comfort zone, and I am continually amazed at the way that the Lord has guided me through each new situation. 

Abandonment is real and is truly so beautiful.

Picking up your cross daily means laying down everything else you are holding onto. It is the act of surrendering it ALL for Christ and the fruit of that surrender is the only thing that sustains. It is not easy, it is a choice to sacrifice the comforts of this world for something greater. But when I think of a father laying down His child’s life for me, my sacrifices should be easy and nothing compared to that one. 

I am learning that holding everything with open hands is the only way to not limit God’s ability within your life. In most situations we accidentally put expectations on God just by believing that our specific plans for our lives are the only ones. By keeping open hands in all situations we are giving up the control that we never truly had. It allows a heart posture of being interruptible, and I have already witnessed some beautiful moments just because people were available and willing to work for God’s kingdom.

I just finished working with Samaritan’s Purse for two weeks in New Orleans, Louisianna for hurricane relief! Within that experience the Lord revealed so many things to me. One thing in particular directly related to the work we were doing there. Most days my team spent the day doing mud-outs, which would include anything from spraying mold to tearing out walls and ceilings. Within this work, I kept wishing that I could see the houses we were working on before they were stripped to the studs in order to better imagine what the houses actually looked like. 

Later during week two, I was given the to opportunity to go do a walk-through at a house that Samaritan’s Purse hadn’t been to yet. Walking into this home my heart was heavy as the floors were still covered in mud, the walls were growing mold at least four feet high, and the homeowner was still living in the house that was in this state. 

In this experience, God revealed how these homes are a reflection of our own hearts. God has a way of taking our destroyed, moldy, filthy hearts, and breaking us down to the studs. He makes us beautifully broken, so there is no where else to go besides restoration. He builds us back up, giving us a new heart that is warm and comforting. That is without any harm but instead a sweet refuge for our minds to dwell. He chooses to not leave us in our brokenness but instead meets us exactly where we are. 

I am learning to appreciate every stage that I see both people, myself, and even homes in. God has them right where they are meant to be, and I have the amazing opportunity of watching Him within the process. 

I am continually amazed at all the ways the Lord has been speaking to me, and I am beyond excited to see all He will continue to do as my squad and I head out internationally to Costa Rica!